I have always been passionate about contributing to projects and working alongside like-minded individuals to make a difference in the tech community. However, over the past several weeks, my ability to maintain my usual level of productivity and engagement with my projects has been significantly hindered by a combination of physical and emotional challenges. Some would say famous last words from an article I wrote back last month.
Firstly, I have been grappling with a debilitating sore back that has left me incapacitated for extended periods. The physical pain has made it difficult to focus and dedicate the necessary time and energy to my open source projects. Simple tasks have become daunting, and the constant discomfort has sapped my motivation.
Simultaneously, I have been dealing with the emotional turmoil of the first-year anniversaries of my father's illness, who sadly passed away in September. As the anniversaries approach, I find myself confronting feelings of loss and grief that have affected my mental wellbeing. The first day he got home, the first day I took him for an ice cream in the car etc. The emotional weight has been a significant factor in my inability to maintain my typical level of involvement in my open source projects.
Despite these challenges, I have made the conscious decision not to be too hard on myself. I recognise that life is a series of ups and downs, and sometimes we need to allow ourselves the time and space to heal both physically and emotionally. By accepting my current circumstances, I have been able to focus on recovery without the added pressure of feeling guilty about my temporary inactivity.
As I look towards the future, I am optimistic about regaining my momentum and getting back on track with my open source projects. In the next few weeks, I plan to finalise the work on my main website, automate the changelog app, and add new features to my pulp application.
I understand that the journey to recovery may not be a linear one, and there may be setbacks along the way. However, I am determined to regain my strength and refocus on my passions, which include contributing to open source projects and making a positive impact within the tech community.
In sharing this story, I hope to inspire others who may be facing similar challenges. It's crucial to remember that it's okay to take a step back, prioritise your wellbeing, and give yourself the time to recover. In the end, it's the lessons we learn from these hardships that allow us to come back stronger and more resilient than ever before.
On a lighter note, my wee nephew is visiting for a few days this week to celebrate my upcoming birthday and Easter with us. I haven't seen him since October so I will be too busy zombie hunting to add to my contributions but I wouldn't change that for the world!